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FILTER IS ON: You are browsing articles with the tag. Turn this filter off. "Todd's Hands" Lifetime Original Movies That Never Made It… "TODD'S HANDS" The touching story of a young boy who wears thick winter gloves at all times because he aspires to be a successful model appearing in hand cream and nail polish ads in glossy magazines. Follow his trials and tribulations with his family and peers.
Winter.Winter is here. And with it come the typical changes inside. I haven't been able to make complete sense out of it, to understand why I start feeling like this. Awful memories begin to flood back, and I catch myself longing for days long gone. My dreams are long, intricate, dramatic stories made of bits and pieces of the past; stories that are difficult to think about and best forgotten. It seems to me, emotionally, that yesterday was always better than today. That last year is always better than this year, and so on. On closer inspection, it is obvious that this is not true. While elements of 2004 have been awfully sad, overall I have to admit that it has been a good year compared to most others. I am in Tallahassee, enrolled in school, making a nice dollar at my job, giving to V89 and receiving so much more than I can say (no, I'm not stealing from catalog.. geesh). I have Amy closeby, and I love her dearly. Five months from now will mark the 10-year anniversary of the day we first met. She has enriched my life in important ways that no one else has before or since. Finances are in order. I am succeeding in school, as my grades would prove to me. Socially, I'm still an oaf. I try to make bonds with people, I want so badly to succeed with this, but I find myself still very frustrated. Blame lies nowhere, though I see the obstacles posed by myself, by others and by sheer circumstance. That I can see this clearly is an accomplishment in itself, I imagine. I simply need to escape the house more, and when I'm out there, I need to say more and listen more. So why then do I find myself so crushed by this season? If I were asked, I would tell you that winter is my favorite time of the year. I suppose I love the weather the most. I love it because it matches more closely this feeling that rules my life. It is a Joy Division song, or a Sigur Ros song, or something from the new, amazing Julian Fane album, Special Forces. It is not cold, for cold does not exist. It is a lack of heat, of warmth, of brethren, of affection. It is empty. It is dark. It is often painful. Yes, I feel these things in the winter, and the winter mirrors me. The same feelings are evident always, at all other times of the year. Perhaps winter makes it okay for these emotions to thrive and sustain themselves, more so than, say, the summer does. In winter, I am reminded of all who have disappeared. I am reminded of the ones who ran away, the ones who I pushed away, and the ones who just had to go. I am reminded of low organ keys held for long measures. Of "processions moving slowly." I think about good times with people who are nowhere to be found. Sometimes I try to go out and live amongst others, or to invite them into my room, to drink, to laugh, to be wild and crazy. It seldom works. Because all I really want when I feel like this, at this time of year, is to be alone, without interference and surprise. Without spontaneity or interruption. Because it is familiar, I suppose.
My Top 10 albums of 200410. Ratatat self-titled 9. Julian Fane Special Forces 8. Frog Eyes The Folded Palm 7. Interpol Antics 6. The Organ Grab That Gun 5. Lansing-Dreiden The Incomplete Triangle 4. Antony and the Johnsons self-titled 3. Electrelane Power Out 2. Gary Wilson Mary Had Brown Hair 1. Destroyer Your Blues
the joke is in the surnameWoo! ..this was fun. =]
Can you find these people? •Sooze
Among DreamsI distinctly remember some parts of my dreaming last night, and they go like this. • Standing near the entrance to a brick building • Amy was there, as was Dick Cheney • We were all bouncing a basketball-sized ball back and forth to each other, with a single bounce, halfway between the source and destination persons • We also switched between the boucing and the direct throw to the person's midsection • We seemed to be doing this in the smoothest, most-badass way imaginable • Dick Cheney asked me to listen to this "really cool" song on his iPod • The song was "Send Her My Love" by Journey ???
Lego Butt ShakeI'm still battling the sickness, it's been nearly a week now. Work has been getting on my nerves lately. There's no doubt that I hate my job, it's really everything I don't want to do with my time and the pay is insulting. I basically walk around at work all day long, occasionally asking people if they need help with anything, but more often than not I spend my time silently cursing the damn music they play. It's a cassette tape labeled September 2004 and it contains perhaps the worst collection of music of any cassette tape in existence. We are supposed to get a new one for each month, so that the employees don't lose their minds and run for the baseball bats in aisle 3B. But October's tape hasn't arrived yet and I'm beginning to get restless about it. I've mentioned this frustration to a few co-workers and select members of management, but no one seems to take my aggravation very seriously. They don't appear to be phased even the slightest bit by listening to the same 20 songs looped over and over. The standout track would have to be The Pretenders' "Don't Get Me Wrong" which is actually a very good song. But sandwiched deep between utter crap like the Golden Girls Theme Song (before you cry foul, understand that this is the original version of the song, with male vocals; it conjures up no mental images of Dorothy, Blanche, Rose or Sophia…), the "Go Speed Racer!" song, some excruciating kiddy song that goes something like "yummy yummy yummy I've got Luv in my tummy", and then of course there's the "take a bath.. take take a bubble bath!" song. I suppose some people are just more affected (afflicted) by music than others are. What's arguably worse is the lack of non-work activities that are available to me to squander my boring hours away with. At every other job I've held in the last several years, there were always plenty of alternatives to choose from when I didn't feel like doing anything work-related. Most of these alternatives were computer-based, like surfing the Internet or instant messaging. Well, forget about instant messaging at my current job, it can't be done. And as far as the Internet goes, surfing is nearly impossible. We have some sort of block on the network that restricts our navigation to only a few allowed sites, namely Amazon.com which is where the toysrus.com website is hosted. About the only slacking off I can do is browse the music section at Amazon.com and catch up on a little research on groups that I'm interested in. Today's highlight was printing the song titles and track order for The Magnetic Fields' 69 Love Songs, which I've burned to an mp3 disc (all 69 of them) and listen to in my car. I also daydreamed a little, about designing and sewing together an all-purpose utility belt which I'd proudly wear around everywhere I go. This amazing accessory would boast over a dozen compartments to hold different things, you know, do everything that a utility belt is designed to do. In addition to several places to put random, swappable things, there would certainly be specially fitted compartments to hold the things I need at my disposal at all times. Here's a quick list:
Some day. Post-script: The title of this entry refers to this game that Amy and I play at work, where upon observing a shopper or group of shoppers who are peculiar in some way, we give them a three-word name and then tell one another where to find him/her/them. Lego Butt Shake was an especially annoying effeminate man who bothered me for almost a whole hour one night, imploring me numerous times to "sprint to the back stockroom" to see if we had this particular Spiderman Lego playset that he absolutely had to have. The man was clearly older than 30, with a chronic receding hairline and a pendulous tailfeather. Other notable characters have so far included Albino Pink Eyes and Mini Register Two. Their stories will have to come at a later time, as I must tend to this homework in front of me.
my very first radio shift on v89WVFS TALLAHASSEE MS. JOHN SODA - “MISCO”
Dream a Little Dream of…One of my best friends just relayed to me the events of her dream last night, so I'm going to pass it along; only because I think it's the most insane dream I have ever heard. Enjoy. last night i got raped by jonathan, that old neighbor, and i tried to tell this woman cop, but she was like, "what? there ain't nothing wrong with that, that's bubbalicious," and i was like, "bubbalicious?" and she was like, "yeah, my boyfriend bubba, he took this penguin and blended it up in the blender and then fucked the juice….would you call that rape?…no, it's bubbalicious." *stares, mouth agape*
The Real Jack Buford2 FOR $4 NEW MONTEREY JACK BUFORDS! reads the sign at the Checker Restaurant across the street. Though it is plainly clear what they meant, doesn't it sound like some new designer hamburger since the line-break falls after Monterey and before Jack? The "Jack Buford" ? Or an athletic shoe perhaps ? The Limited Edition Jack Buford Hi-Tops ? Or "..Sauce… for Men… a fragrance by Jack Buford…" Ok, this shall be my new handle in life! I decree it!
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